Reflections

I'm a fool. No chance in hell with you-know-who; he's already got someone new. Oh well. I give up.

Now, onward. I'd like to talk about the style. network show “Too Fat For Fifteen: Fighting Back.” If my parents spent all that money for me to go to fat camp, I would go and appreciate it and not take the opportunity for granted.

Don't you hate it when…

I hate it when teachers don't explain what they want you to bring to class so you'll know to be prepared. I also hate it when you try to explain that what you have is a work-in-progress and they don't listen. I also hate teachers who have a particular way of doing things, and if you don't do it their way, you're wrong.

That's what happened this AM in GDES. We, the students, didn't realize we had a critique today, because he told us the project wasn't due until next week. So half of us showed up with unfinished work or didn't show up at all. And, apparently, he grades critiques. :(

Maybe the rest of the day will go better. Still have to develop my film this afternoon. I'll do that after I go home to snack @ 3 PM. Maybe all will be well before tomorrow.

Venting

I'm glad I have methods to vent all this frustration. I feel sorry for women in cultures where they are not permitted to speak freely and open up their hearts and minds and share their thoughts with whomever they choose.

I love having friends who want to help. And love me no matter what kind of insanity I put them through.

Fall Weather Brings On Trouble

I have a mothering gene that I just can't get rid of. Watching Don Draper fall down drunk makes me want to cradle his head and tell him everything's going to be o.k., and then nurse him

back to sobriety.

But, I digress… this is about fall weather, after all. And allergies. And you-know-who.

Today, we had our first bible study of the year. They had a lock-in on Friday, and I could tell that you-know-who was feeling the effects of sleeping on the dusty gym floor. That mothering jean kicked in. Hard. *Sniffle sniffle* (Me: Pine) *Cough cough* (Me: Sigh).

Terrible. Did I put that I drunk-texted him twice last week? Ugh. This is getting out of hand too fast. Is it bad that I'm looking forward to intramural football just so I see him all sweaty and manly? And that's when his allergies are at the worst, and that mothering gene REALLY'll get excited? I'm such a bad girl. Lust is a sin, and I know it. And he's a player, which DEFINITELY is not good for any future prospects. PLUS, I'm nothing like his usual type. Which may or may not be a good thing.

Anywho… in other news… there's a lot of other stuff going on. Tests are coming up. Photos are being developed. Football's going AUsomely!!! …I hate that my emotions are bogging me down and holding me back in the midst of all this excitement…

In other words, I think I need to take a break from obsessing over lost causes, and focus on something (or someone) new.

New School Year, New Adventures… Same Old Drama, Same Old Me

So, we're almost 1 month into the new school year! WAR EAGLE!!! There's not much to say. I love being back here in Auburn, with all my friends, participating in church, and doing design. I also love the independence of having an apartment, even if it does have a few problems.

Classes are going well! I love my Alabama history teacher— such a good ol' boy. And Español is fun! I find it easy. Photography is going to be challenging, and GDES is good as always, but I wish our professor would just shut up and let us work…

…Back to the purpose of this blog:

There's such a fresh feeling to a new year. New hopes, plans, things to do… but now that the initial shock and excitement have worn off, where do we go from here? Do you push yourself to follow all those high hopes of Summertime Daydreaming, or do you fall into the old routines? Do you go out and make something happen or wait for it to come to you?

…I seem to have fallen into the latter category. There's so much that I had hoped would have happened by now, for the good and the bad things in my life:

1. I wanted so much to have lost weight this summer by exercising daily and eating right.

Didn't happen.

2. I wanted to truly believe that I was over You-Know-Who.

I've discovered now I'm not. Even though I know this desire is futile and nothing's ever going to come of it. Even if it's really permanently over between him and the semi-ex-girlfriend. Got back in town and all the old feelings came rolling back.

3. I wanted to travel this summer.

The farthest I got was 2 hours from my hometown.

There's other stuff, too, that happened or didn't happen, but it's all really very trivial. AS A MATTER OF FACT, this is all very trivial. I wish I was good at blogging about something other than myself. Maybe I need to start blogging along a theme, or blog about my designs, or something. I don't know.

Maybe I'll think of something. Maybe I'll start blogging en español! ¿Muy interesante, no? lol No.

Oh, well.

Summer Time...and the Livin' is easy...

...Maybe too easy. I think I have cabin fever. After being at Auburn for a year, even on days when I didn't have anything to do, there was always something to do if I wanted. Now that I'm home for the summer, I just don't know what to do with myself. I've done laundry, I've cleaned my room (twice!), and I'm about to wash my car for the second time. I'm so restless.
I've been thinking about getting my bike out and lubing it up and riding it around a bit, early in the mornings. I used to ride my bike everywhere in middle school, before it became "uncool" and before I got my permit/license. However, it's probably been at least 2 years since I last rode it more than just around the house. We'll see how that goes.
I've been back at work at Burger King for 2 weeks now. I can't believe I ate there everyday almost for about 2 years. I've felt so sick these last 2 weeks, and I'm pretty sure it's because of the BK. However, we do have a new product that's worth trying. We have RIBS! AT BK! They're expensive, and they take forever to make, but they are very good, surprisingly, and worth the expense, in my opinion.
Let's see... anything else? My sister's been in Ecuador and the Galapagos for the past week; she gets back tomorrow. And... my other sister's ?boyfriend? graduated from UAHuntsville... and... seriously, life is pretty boring. Maybe I'll just blog about my thoughts now... let's see... or not. I always get on here, with high hopes that I can think of something brilliant to write, and blog like my friends, and yet it always turns very boring very quickly. Oh well.

What a difference a trip makes

Took a trip to Tuscaloosa for a party Friday! Got to see a bunch of Bammers I hadn't seen in a while. Had a pretty rad time too!

The best part of the trip was riding with You-Know-Who and the Ex (who is definitely not Ex anymore, so henceforth known as the GF...), and I came to the realization that She. Is. Awesome. And perfect for You-Know-Who.

And I realized that I am completely over him. In less than a week

ZAP!!!

All feelings are simply brotherly friend love. Simple as that. Quite strange, I feel, but it's the truth.

Maybe it was pity for seeing him totally wasted after 10 rounds of beer pong + 3 other drinks, falling down stairs and a jump in a pool, urinating in public, and practically being herded back to the car... No, that's not it. That was just fun (and slightly pitiful).

I think I just realized there was no chance of anything more, and we were better off as friends anyway. Why ruin something that's perfectly A-OK with stupid schemes that are going to backfire and land you right where you started, only with more heartache and awkwardness? It's pointless. I think I've got too much going on right now to be worrying about boys.

Wait...

Or Not.

Also, on this trip, I totally got that lustful fire lit under me when I ran into a Bammer I had a crush on 2 years ago. Oh whee! But there is definitely nothing coming out of that department. So I'm barely even going to mention it!

Anywho, it's been a very adventurous Good Friday/Easter weekend. Looking forward to the Folks coming down to AU this Friday. And that's all I can say about that!